The Importance of Being a Blackmailer

Cleopatra of the Secession

Please, may I have a round of applause for Belle Boyd...Confederate spy and most importantly, WOMAN!

Negating the little fact of 'who won the civil war,' all that stuff about right and wrong, I would like to acknowledge the daring efforts of Belle Boyd, in representing her beliefs. Belle spied on enemy lines during the civil war and worked as an informant for the Confederacy. And, the most interesting fact about Belle is that she was NOT a quitter.

After her ship was captured en route to Britain, she wooed her way up the ranks and eventually won the heart of Samuel Hardinge, a union Naval officer part of the blockading fleet. For her love, Belle was banished to the cold depths of Canada (go figure...). But she tracked down her man, and they were later married after reuniting in Europe. Now, I have little doubt that this reunion was engineered by Belle and just as intricately planned as her escape from Union custody by way of the Mounties. And, I must say I do not condone the trading of sex for freedom (save for some very special and elaborate circumstances perchance involving a sale on Textbooks...I am a college student after all), however, Belle did what she thought was necessary and fate managed to catch up with her. I don't think she ever planned to fall in love with Hardinge, but she did, and had to trek from Canada to Britain just to prove it!

Belle was a daring women (a trait I think we should all possess), and she took measures that few of us would dare to take...this includes blackmailing the President.

When Samuel Hardinge was captured and incarcerated for betraying the Union (ahem, the man fell for a Confederate spy!), Belle took up a pen and paper and worked out her scorn.

She promised Lincoln that she would subdue the publication of her new book--which exposed the Union dogs for the blackhearts and scallywags they were--if he would release her husband. (A copy of the letter can be seen here: http://womenshistory.about.com/gi/o.htm?zi=1/XJ&zTi=1&sdn=womenshistory&cdn=education&tm=15&gps=301_259_1362_544&f=10&su=p897.6.336.ip_&tt=11&bt=0&bts=1&zu=http%3A//memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/r%3Fammem/mal%3A@field%28DOCID%2b@lit%28d4022200%29%29) If I could, I would say that Lincoln replied by freeing her husband, but that is untrue. Instead, he took no notice and after a few more years, Hardinge was released. And, I wish I could tell you that Belle and Samuel stayed together for ever and had numerous adventures after the war, but I can't do that either.

The truth is, Belle Boyd divorced Samuel shortly after he was released. She then returned to America and remarried twice, eventually touring the country and regaling her stories from the war in full Confederate garb. Then, she died.

But, I still like the story of Belle Boyd...the adventure, romance, and folly. I appreciate that she was a real woman, and just like the rest of us, she had no idea what she wanted from life.

Though, unlike most of us, she tried to figure it out. She didn't settle for what was good at the moment, trapped forever in a loveless, hopeless void, not quite dead, but definitely not living.

Belle learned and lived, each day, one day at a time.

A good idea, don't you think?

"Only good girls keep diaries, bad girls don't have time."

The ultimate bad girl--cavalier, brash, sexy, wild--Tallulah Bankhead was all these things despite her Protestant upbringing and Catholic education. Perhaps, that was the problem. Her squabbling shoulder angels couldn't ever agree long enough to do her any good.

She began her career by entering a photograph contest for Picture Play magazine in 1918, the prize of which was a small role in a movie and seventy-five dollars. As it turns out, Tallulah was so ecstatic in entering the contest that she forgot to provide her name and address. The picture ran in the next month's issue and was captioned "Who is she?". Eventually, things were cleared up by Tallulah's prominent father, William Bankhead, future speaker of the house. Shortly thereafter, Tallulah left her home in Alabama to travel to New York city.

Tallulah was an actress through and through, although she only found minor success on the stage and screen until her break out role in Little Foxes in 1939. Despite the tumult of her career, she managed a glowing social repertoire that included the likes of Greta Garbo, The Marx Brothers, and even Gary Cooper. Known for her charm and her ability to vocalize her boisterous thoughts in immortal quotes; Tallulah left a mark on the society of both Hollywood and London, something the color of Bourbon and just as potent.

"I'm as pure as the driven slush."

"I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"I can read Shakespeare and the Bible. I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education."

These are just a few of Tallulah's brash witticisms. As you can clearly witness, she had quite the mouth, and apparently she knew how to utilize it.

With her deep, sultry voice, Tallulah wooed men into her bed with the skill of Cleopatra--who she even played on screen in 1937, though the film was a flop. However, when Tallulah looked at her promiscuity in retrospect she claimed that she was not quite the nymphomaniac she appeared to be. She just like the thrill of the game. And a feral predator she was.

Upon seeing a former lover that she hadn't seen in many years, she said, to the shock of many, "I thought I told you to wait in the car." Oh, she was clever. Tallulah knew how to work a man. Once at a party, a young man, brought by one of Tallulah's many friends, boldly announced that he wanted to make love to her that very night. Tallulah's response--"and so you shall, you wonderful, old-fashioned boy."

Although, with regard to her wild and carefree social calender, Tallulah still felt that she hadn't accomplished anything of worth. As a strong anti-communist, and loud liberal, she donated much of her time and money to the anti-communist cause to make up for her more risque endeavours.

Eventually, by the year 1950, Tallulah was a household name, whether for her political activism or her many humorous anecdotes. She had charmed her way into the American hearts and even the housewives that denounced her insane lifestyle to their husbands and daughters secretly admired her fervent youth and boisterous personality. Perhaps they had heard of her more soft-hearted exploit? Since the nineteen forties, Tallulah had adopted foster children from abroad.

After writing her memoirs, Tallulah finally allowed herself to slow down. She appeared in one last film, Die, Die My Darling, and had numerous TV appearances, including one celebrity appearance in Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez's comedy, I Love Lucy.

The end of Tallulah was not quite as glorious as the beginning. But she did leave a two million dollar legacy to her friends and family as well as a legacy to women everywhere. If there is anything I think we can learn from Tallulah, it is this, "only good girls keep diaries, bad girls don't have time."

We should be living our lives to the fullest, only dropping when we are too exhausted to stand. Writing it all down, doesn't matter half as much as living to be remembered. Of course if you leave words people will acknowledge your life. But don't you want them to acknowledge your memories and personality without the assistance of the written word? Don't you want them to exalt you as much in death as they did in life?

This should be our goal, ladies.
From now on, it sure is mine.