Putting off French Assignments

I just discovered that I am facing the ultimate struggle.
Who am I?
Never before have I asked myself this question. I suppose I took for granted that I've just known... To be honest, I'm slightly excited to discover the answer to this question. However, the trials of discovery are beginning to wear on me.
Don't fret. I'll survive. But, I may be persnickety, so beware.

Lately,
I've been writing in the music room.
I've been writing.
I've been complacent.
I've been waiting for April 10th!
I've been busy.
I've been dancing.
I've been tired.
I've been eating Reeses.
I've been drawing. Poorly.
I've been to meetings.
I've been missing New Orleans.
I've been thinking about cats.
I've been playing basketball.

Now,
I don't know what to say.

Therefore,
Good night.

Losing Sleep

In my eyes, there is a layer as fine as brick dust, an opaque chalk that separates one person from another. But, in the same way brick dust is made up of a million particles, so is this layer. No one truly penetrates it. It bends and folds and stretches and waves eternally. We are continually adding to it. We are continually strengthening it.

In a way, it's sad that we refuse to be closer to people.

But, I don't think we can control this. It's something we're born with. Although, I do know of instances where the fog has cleared and I've felt closer to another human being than ever before. It's nice, not to be alien all the time. That is why I listen to music, why I read. Well crafted art makes you vulnerable.

I want to be a writer because people make me happy. All different people. I want to have that mutual weakening of the boundary.

Good Read

Very cool lit mag.

http://www.coconutpoetry.org/whitej1.html

Why People Have Alter Egos (Myself Included)

Her name is Scarlet.

For a long time, basically since I watched Chicago and found that I identify with Velma Kelly more than makes me feel comfortable, I decided that all the things that I want to say or do that aren't socially acceptable could be attributed to this persona. I think of her as a beautiful man hater with money to burn and a fat cigar in her perfectly rouged lips. She wears flapper dresses and three inch heels. She downs shots in bar rooms dark enough to make a person feel alive and dead at the same time.

Then, there is Elysia. Modest, fun loving, nervous, cautious, etc.

Sometimes, I (Elysia) find that Scarlet bubbles up through the cracks in my personality like magma in a fault line. But, she doesn't embarrass me, like most may think. In fact, even though people--especially my mother--have the tendency to drop their mouths in tiny "O"s of shock when I say or do something out of the ordinary, I feel a surge of pride whenever Scarlet makes an appearance. And, although her wit parallels something closer to a faux pas in civilized society, I think of it as more of an edge to my usual softness.

We all know I am pretty bizarre at times, and for those of you who don't know me that well, this little tidbit may add another layer to the cake that is my cracked personality. But, I am not the only one with a selective split psyche.

-Miley Cyrus *Hannah Montana

-Beyonce *Sasha Fierce

-Garth Brooks *Chris Gains

-David Bowie *Ziggy Stardust

Look at writer's who have pen names, actors and actresses who play characters over and over again (Sacha Baron Cohen for example). To me, it seems that everyone needs the storage space that is an 'alter ego.' These personas have the potential to be vehicles for our desires and whims, those that are perhaps too odd for our friends and families to handle. For others, these personas are like experiments, a fake person for them to attempt something on or with, before they attribute their own fragile name to their exploits. Either way, I think everyone should keep an open mind to alter egos--even if you just keep a journal of what you'd like to do through that person. An alter ego is like an outlet. If you don't choose this route, choose another.

It's only human (and healthy) to have some form of creative expression.

NOLA

Enjoying the sunshine

Meschiya Lake and the Loose Marbles

Marie Laveau's tomb

He'll teach you to play chess for 5$

Another rag tag group we saw. They were great!

New Orleans has the most wonderful characters. Yesterday (Sunday) was the perfect day to explore the French quarter and watch the street performers. I was amazed at how talented some of them were. By far, my favorite was Meschiya Lake. She stood there, rocking back and forth on her heels, singing with enough power to draw a crowd, packing the steps of the court house on Royal. While the band took a break, I met a street performer, not pictured above, named Erica. She was a face painter/hula hooper. I asked her what made her decide to do this and she told me right off the bat, "This isn't my job. I work during the week. I have my BA in psychology and I am going to attend grad school at Tulane in the fall. I do this because I love the city and the people here."

She explained to me that most of the street performers aren't beggars. They are genuine performers and they live by "all the world's a stage...especially Royal St." However, performers aren't just found in that one area. Wandering through Jackson sq. in front of St. Louis Cathedral, we saw psychics, artists, musicians, and vendors of all different kinds. Every time I visit this city I am reminded of all the things I want to do. For me, New Orleans is the height of inspiration. When I am here, I am alive.